Author Shelby Leigh On The Self-Care Routines & Practices Of Busy Entrepreneurs and Business Leaders

All of us know that we have to take breaks in our day to take care of ourselves. “Selfcare is healthcare”, the saying goes. At the same time, we know that when you are a busy leader with enormous responsibility on your shoulders, it’s so easy to prioritize the urgent demands of work over the important requirements of self-care. How do busy entrepreneurs and leaders create space to properly take care of themselves? What are the self-care routines of successful entrepreneurs and business leaders? In this interview series, we are talking to busy and successful entrepreneurs, business leaders, and civic leaders who can discuss their self-care practices and self-care routines. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Shelby Leigh.

Shelby Leigh is a bestselling mental health author who writes about self-care, self-love, self-doubt and more. She shares her work online to an audience of more than 500,000 and her poems have been viewed more than 20 million times. In addition to writing poetry books, Shelby runs a virtual community that empowers authors to write, market and promote themselves through workshops and courses.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! It is an honor. Our readers would love to learn more about your personal background. Can you please share with our readers your personal backstory; What has brought you to this point in your life?

Absolutely! I have always been a writer. As a child, I was a huge bookworm — always surrounded by a stack of books and a journal to escape into. When I started experiencing self-doubt and a lot of insecurities, I found myself turning to writing more and more, using it as my voice.

In college, I found poetry, fell in love with it and challenged myself to write a poem a day for a year. I wanted to show myself that I could commit to something I loved and stick to it.

So I did! But, I did it anonymously. The self-doubt was still telling me I wasn’t good enough to be a writer. At the end of that year, I had an audience and people encouraging me to self-publish a book which is where my journey really began. I started being myself more and more, fighting past the self-doubt and imposter syndrome, and growing my platforms to more than half a million followers today. (Which, those numbers mean nothing if you don’t have community. I’m very fortunate I do!)

The more I stepped out of my comfort zone and opened up about my mental health, the more people resonated with my work, which led to publishing opportunities, an audiobook, a podcast, and a business that helps other poets and writers move past their self-doubt and market their books and grow their author brand.

It has been a wonderful, fulfilling journey!

What is your “why” behind what you do? What fuels you?

I have two “whys.” The first one is (selfishly) me. I write for myself, for healing, for working through emotions. But I write for others, too. My second why is my mission — helping others feel less alone by writing about mental health. Hearing from others that a poem of mine has resonated with them, made them feel less alone in the world, or comforted them is the best and it never gets old. That certainly fuels me, as does helping a writer share their work with the world who was once held back by fear and self-doubt.

How do you define success? Can you please explain what you mean from a personal anecdote?

I have a love/hate relationship with the word success! Success is a goal post that I reach, lift from the ground, and move forward again and again. Once I achieve something that I originally thought would make me feel successful, I start my next goal and then the next. I wanted to be a published writer and I achieved that. A goal of mine was a #1 bestselling poetry book on Amazon and I achieved that. Then it was to crack the top #50 books on Amazon and I achieved that.

What’s next? The goal post keeps moving because I’m moving it. That’s where the love/hate part comes in — I have to remind myself that I have achieved success in many ways. I am successful, and I should be proud of that, but it’s also okay to continue pursuing more.

I think my younger self — who desperately wanted to be a writer and never thought she would be — would say I’m successful. And for right now, that’s enough motivation for me to know I’m doing the right thing.

What is the role of a growth mindset in your success? Can you please share 3 mindset mantras that keep you motivated, sane, and propel you forward?

Growth mindset plays a huge role! You should focus on your growth as a person to be successful as a business owner, creator, whatever you want to be.

Mantra 1: I don’t care if it’s a baby step or a giant leap — you have to step out of your comfort zone on a regular basis. You should never feel unsafe, but you should feel that excitement, that rush, and that bit of nervousness that comes with trying something new.

Mantra 2: Allow yourself to breathe and enjoy some slowness amid the chaos. You don’t always have to be stepping out of your comfort zone. Be comfortable for a little while; enjoy that. But when I stay comfortable for too long, I get bored. I don’t like when every day is a routine. I want something different, so once I’ve been comfortable for a while, it’s time for another baby step.

Mantra 3: Nothing in my business is an emergency. I know there can be emergencies in some types of businesses, but for many of us, there isn’t. It might feel like it’s one emergency after the other, but I have to actively remind myself it’s not. That helps on days when I feel like I’m racing toward a finish line that I can’t see.

You are by all accounts a very successful person. How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?

By continuing to help people feel less alone. The first time someone told me one of my poems did that for them, I took that mission and ran with it. I’ve had mothers tell me they gifted my books to their daughters. These books are messages to my younger self, what I needed to hear as a teenager. So knowing that other girls are seeing these messages and hopefully finding love for themselves and confidence in themselves means everything to me.

I’ve also found so many writers that have these amazing stories to write and tell but they don’t know how to get them out there. I’m really passionate about helping with that and using my marketing background to empower other writers and creatives to shout their story to the world. If I hadn’t, I might still be that anonymous writer from college and I don’t want that for others!

Can you share a mistake or failure which you now appreciate, and which has taught you a valuable lesson?

The most important lesson I’ve learned is to follow my heart. When I made the decision to leave my former job (a job that I really enjoyed with people who taught me a lot!) and put in my notice, I took it back, briefly, for a few days. There was an opportunity for a promotion that pulled me back in and I listened to logic over my feelings. And I immediately knew it was a mistake because I felt like I had betrayed myself and everything I had worked toward to follow my passion and follow my dream.

So, I gave my notice again and declined the offer. It was a quickly fixed mistake, but one I’ll never forget, because it’s what gave me even more reassurance that I was doing the right thing by pursuing my business full-time.

(If anyone from my former job is reading this, thank you for the support and encouragement to pursue my dream!)

You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

The first one is intrinsic motivation. Outside sources can motivate us and outside support is so important, but we have to be able to motivate ourselves on days we feel like giving up, or are filled with doubt.

The second is creativity and going with the flow. Creativity propels me forward. I believe in breaking away from the typical idea of business and having fun with it. Allowing myself to be creative and pursue creative ideas gets me through the non-creative, logistical sides of business that need to get done but that I don’t love as much! I get to write and read often in my business because I made it that way.

I think of an idea and pursue it (almost) immediately. That’s what happened with The Poetry Club, my online membership for poets. I had an idea and I launched it before it was a full-fledged concept, but it’s been one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done and it’s transformed so much in the last year since starting it. If I had waited until every detail was perfectly in place, it would’ve been that much longer before I could start making an impact on these incredible poets who are in the club and have since published their own books.

Finally, a trait that was instrumental to my success is accepting that I struggle with self-doubt and imposter syndrome and pushing through it anyway. This one takes work but it’s a skill I think anyone can develop. I’ve had self-doubt at pretty much every step of my business but I didn’t let that stop me. From the first poem I shared online anonymously to the first podcast interview I did to recording an audiobook to leaving my corporate job to pursue the career I wanted. There were so many times I could’ve let my own mind sabotage me from achieving what I wanted, but I said no and stood firm. I hope anyone reading this will say no to their self-doubt the next time it creeps up, too.

What are some of the most interesting or exciting new projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?

My third book, girl made of glass, is coming out in January 2023 with Central Avenue Publishing and I am incredibly excited for it to be out! My goal with this collection is to show others how we can haunt ourselves, and how we can let other people and feelings and self-doubt haunt us, too.

The other exciting project I recently launched is my self-love podcast, small steps to self-love. With new episodes every Thursday, I share advice and tips and my struggles with a new mental health topic every week and bring on guests to chat with me too. My goal with the podcast is to open up in a new way and connect with my readers on a deeper level. I hope it helps others feel less alone on their self-love journey.

OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the core focus of our interview about Self-Care. Let’s start with a basic definition so that we are all on the same page. What does self-care mean to you?

To me, self-care is knowing when to just be. It’s knowing that I am human, and that even though I love working (and I’m grateful that I do!), I also need time away to be mindful of what is around me, take my mind off my business, and take my eyes off the screen.

As a successful leader with an intense schedule, what do you do to prioritize self-care, and carve out regular time to make self-care part of your routine?

It hasn’t been easy, and there are some days when self-care falls lower on the priority list than it should. The best thing I did was block off some days of my calendar entirely. No one can schedule meetings with me on those days, and I can get done what I need to get done without interruption so that I can enjoy more time to myself, or with my partner, on those days.

Similarly, I’ve learned what times I’m most productive and what times my mind and body need care most. I don’t adhere to a specific work schedule and instead listen to what my body is telling me. A lot of the time that means slower mornings — a walk outside and reading for a while with breakfast before I ever start working. Other days I’m ready to dive in as soon as I wake up and then I have a slower evening. I think there’s so much noise in the business world about how to wake up early and get 20 things done before lunch, but that’s not when I’m most productive, so learning to appreciate when I am most productive, and be okay with that, has been really helpful.

I know not everyone is able to adjust their work schedule around like that, but I do think it’s important to take note of patterns in your productivity and honor those hours of the day when you have lower energy.

Will you please share with our readers 3 of your daily, or frequent self-care habits?

1. My absolute favorite daily habit is journaling. Getting everything out onto the page has been tremendously healing for me. Some days I use prompts, some days I write a poem, and other days I just write about my day and what’s on my mind. It’s a habit I started 7 years ago before I knew it would help with my mental health, before I knew what self-care was, and it’s stayed with me. I highly recommend it!
2. The second one is getting outside. I love a morning walk, whether I listen to a podcast or stroll along with my partner. I also love disc golf and tennis which keeps me active, gets me outside and helps me take my mind off work (because I’m way too busy trying to win!).
3. Lastly, making a creativity routine. Creativity is incredibly important to me and I like to treat it that way! I’ve created a creative space in my home with a cozy chair and blanket, a bookshelf just next to it, and a pile of empty journals and my favorite pens. I light a candle, read for a while, and write when inspiration strikes.

This is the main question of our interview. Based on your own experiences or research can you please share 5 ways that taking time for self-care will improve our lives?

Self-care will help you form a better relationship with yourself. It’s a way to be mindful of and learn what you need to feel good mentally and physically. The times that I sit and journal in silence are times to connect with myself and listen to myself. It’s so powerful to enjoy that stillness and enjoy a conversation with yourself. It leads to better appreciation of your time and your mind. And even though it’s unintentional, my best ideas come in those quiet moments with myself.

At the same time, self-care can help you form better relationships with others. You learn what you need from yourself and from others, and you have more to give because you’ve allowed space for rest. You’ve given yourself what you need first and now you can give to others. There have been times when I haven’t taken the time to care for myself that I was too burnt out and exhausted to handle my relationships with others. It made me a bad listener because I would zone out thinking of all the things I had to do and just be too exhausted to help anyone else. But I learned that helping myself is helping others in my life, because then I can show up as my best self to them.

Another way self-care can improve our lives is helping us work better. By allowing time for self-care and rest, we are less likely to reach the “burnout” point. Instead, we’re acknowledging that we don’t always have to be working or doing something or racing toward a goal, and that resting is productive, too. Resting helps us be our best selves when we are ready to get back to work. I find that I’m more productive when I take time each day for self-care, than when I forget to care for myself and end up getting burnt out, which can lead to me being less productive for weeks at a time.

Self-care has been proven to improve mental and physical health, which are the last two benefits I wanted to talk about. Not only has it been shown to reduce anxiety and depression, but it helps me so much in clearing my mind and learning what my priorities are. Journaling has been instrumental in caring for my mental health and getting outside and being active helps my physical health so much when a large part of my job is looking at a computer screen. When I practice self-care, I feel better all around.

Sometimes we learn a great deal from the opposite, from a contrast. Can you please share a few ways that NOT taking time for self-care can harm our lives?

Sure! I think the biggest one is losing touch with yourself. Life has almost felt robotic for me when I’ve worked nonstop and not shown myself care. I didn’t feel human. When all we do is work and/or care for others, we lose sight of our priorities, and we lose sight of our time and how meaningful it is to spend time with ourselves when we aren’t getting tasks done.

It can also, in turn, be detrimental to our mental and physical health. Your mind and body deserve love and attention from you.

What would you tell someone who says they do not have time or finances to support a regular wellness routine?

I understand the concern about time because I’ve said that many times in the past, too. And truthfully, I think it has to come from that place of intrinsic motivation I mentioned earlier. If someone doesn’t want to get better about taking care of themselves, they probably won’t until they find a reason that motivates them! It doesn’t have to cost anything financially. I don’t go to the spa or buy expensive things as part of my self-care but if you do, there’s no shame in that. I enjoy journaling and reading and going on walks, all of which are free or very low-cost. You have to find things you enjoy doing that make you want to find the time. Because the time is there; we just have to shift around our priorities. And self-care should be a top priority!

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)

I would probably be too nervous to say anything at this private breakfast, but Roxane Gay. I admire her and her work so much, and how she supports and empowers other writers. When I think of the type of impact I want to make, I think of her. Also, her Twitter makes me laugh.

What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?

Thank you for asking! You can find me and my books at shelbyleigh.co and Instagram/TikTok @shelbyleighpoetry. My podcast, small steps to self-love is on YouTube (Shelby Leigh Poetry) or your favorite podcast platform!

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.

About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher, and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness, and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at [email protected]. To schedule a free consultation, click here.

Source : https://medium.com/authority-magazine/shelby-leigh-on-the-self-care-routines-practices-of-busy-entrepreneurs-and-business-leaders-1ec605d74978